wake up i wanna do it froggy style
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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