so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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