I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
