Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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