I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
MIDGETS
????
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
