Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
