It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
im six kinds of drunk right now
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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