I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Is it because I queefed?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
