Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
