I accidentally had phone sex last night
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
