I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
