Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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