I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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