I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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