What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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