david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
