Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize