Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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