Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize