A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
