respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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