coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
