With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
