Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
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