erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
