My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
