why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
