its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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