Dual....:-)
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
