he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
