The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
