He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
