2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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