i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
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I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
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I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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