HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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