sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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