my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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