Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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