Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize