u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
