finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
