Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
