the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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