What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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