He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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