Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?

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(530): View more from California

The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.

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(714): View more from California

I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.

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(816): View more from Missouri

this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?

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(304): View more from West Virginia

she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference

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(530): View more from California

i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.

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