So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
