exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
