Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize