She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
