i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
