Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
