I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
