Do you still have your period?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
