Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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