Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
