Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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