you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
