so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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