HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Randomize