Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
