Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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