I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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