Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
