dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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