i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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