I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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