so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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