he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
