dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
