He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
