Sry I called you an 8
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
