Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
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