Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Couch. On fire.
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