She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
