I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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