Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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