I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
40s are totally the cure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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