Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
